I swear I thought this had to be a joke.

Have you heard about this?

Some Republican from Texas named Robert Hurt is upset that some of the artwork in Washington DC actually features nudes. “At the National Gallery, he was appalled to see statues of unclothed people. “I found it very inappropriate,’ he said.”

That’s right, innocent children can walk right into the National Gallery of Art, and see paintings and sculptures with men showing their unclothed weenies and women with bare boobies. These poor kids will no doubt be scarred for life by the Cassatts and Degas that are blatantly displayed for the public to see.

And it's not just in the museums: “He discovered Arlington Memorial Bridge, flanked by the bare-chested figures of Valor and Sacrifice.” Nekkid ladies on our bridges!! That’s a terrible safety risk. Just imagine some impressionable young man who just got his drivers license, driving across Memorial Bridge, seeing these bare breasts, and becoming so excited that he swerves wildly into oncoming traffic. Can you picture the devastation?

Fortunately, Hurt is doing everything he can to fight this depravity: “Hurt notified his elected officials of his concerns but believes nothing was done. While he said he respects free speech, ‘I believe art affects a country indirectly. I have been studying the decline of morals in this country. It's sending the wrong message to children that nudity is fine, that nakedness is fine. . . . There are degrees of vulgarity, and it opens up the door for the other stuff.’”

Good for you, Bob Hurt! And while you’re at it, see what you can do about putting pants on all the animals at the National Zoo.

Those pandas are completely naked!